Where is Your Heart?

Around the start of the New Year I became really convicted about my prayer life and where my focus had shifted.  Both of my kids were sick and when I was praying I was focused on their health and a good night's sleep for all.

Surviving.

Being comfortable.

Those had become my priorities...it had crept in slowly over the course of the last year really.   There were no excuses.  Just conviction.  I even began to wonder if sleep had become an idol (something I desired more than God).

Truth was, I was my own idol.  I couldn't keep pretending.  I desperately wanted to want God more than anything else.  To be filled with the Holy Spirit.  To live a life totally dependent on God and not myself and my comforts.

I began digging more into God's Word and reading Anything by Jennie Allen.  I was challenged to start thinking if I really was willing to do 'ANYTHING' for the Lord, for His glory.  The temptation is always there as a minister to think that you have already given it all.

I haven't.

Sometimes, unfortunately I still cling to worldly desires.

Macedonia has become my home.  I am comfortable here.  Sometimes I think I may fit in more here than in America. It's been 6 years and the wonder and excitement of living in a different country has long faded.

With that, the obviousness of my dependance on God had faded as well.  It can be dangerous when we are comfortable and content with where we are in our walks with the Lord.  When we stop wanting more of HIM.  I became hungry again in a way I hadn't been in such a long time.  I experienced revival in my heart and it's impossible to keep that in.

The thing about revival is that you want everyone to experience it when you have.  You can't understand why the things of this world are still so important to so many.  You get passionate and annoy people.  :)  I am desperately praying for America these days.  For our President.  For us as a people.  For the American Church.  Love and compassion fills your heart and replaces the anger and frustration.  Grief over sin is magnified.  It's exciting again....life....because you are living for HIM.

I also read Forgotten God by Francis Chan which has renewed my love and desire to live a life filled with the Spirit.  The God of the whole universe is living in me as He was before, but I'm allowing HIM to lead me, to speak to me, to live through me.  I am praying differently.  I am much more aware of the sin in my own life.  I am eternally grateful for Jesus and how He welcomes us back with open arms and fulfills all of our God honoring desires.  I pray that we are all living in the fullness He desires.  All glory and praise to Him alone.  He is worthy of it ALL!