Anticipation

Seems my little family doesn't always share my love of the new things we experience living over here.  Kaleb was in soccer last year before we left for the states, and though he enjoyed it, we thought he had decided that basketball was more "his" thing.  If his current size is any indication of things, he's more of the basketball type anyways :)

So...the day came a few days ago for him to start basketball.  I kid you not, there was a literal hour of drama filled crying and wailing about being afraid to go.  Afraid that he wouldn't be able to make a basket, that he would be the worst one, that the other kids would laugh.  You name it, he had anticipated the worst.

We do that sometimes, don't we.  Anticipate the worst possible scenario.  Cling to what we know, the easy way.  'Do hard things' is a newer phrase that is hard to live out.  Who wants to do hard things?  Well, he went and had a blast.  Made a ton of baskets, had fun with the other kids, and he wasn't the worst one.  Ha!  It doesn't always turn out that way.  But, it reminded me that the anticipation of what's ahead is many times worse than the reality.

Skopje is different.  I won't say bad, but it is so different than what we've known the past 8 years.  I claim to be a city girl.  I'm not sure that is the case any more.  I've missed life in Prilep more than I ever thought I would.  I knew I would miss the countless friends who have become family, but I didn't anticipate how I would miss living there.

I admit, part of it is because every new start is hard.  It was hard 10 years ago when we landed in Skopje, it was hard 8 years ago when we moved our life to Prilep.  New beginnings are hard.  Period.  We are starting over.  It's exciting, scary, and stretching.  It's made me rely more on the Spirit like I should do all the time.  Pray with us that we would seek His face continually as we navigate all this 'new' and embrace the differences instead of wishing things looked differently.  Pray that there would be less 'wailing' as we anticipate the hard things that are ahead.  :)